Something resembling Monet's water lilies

not so finished/started poems....

we're a two piece puzzle

it's easy to see how we fit together

...and when my Cinderella glow has worn off,

you still say I'm the most beautiful girl you've ever seen.

Well I don't know if I believe that, but

maybe someday I'll buy a nice condo in

that fantasy world you're living in.

If you asked me if I love him.....I'd lie

I almost forgot to post this!

So while driving to school from school today, I was thinking about (now brace yourself for the shocker...) love. 

People ask me all the time what is love and how do you know when you're in love? Well, one of my standard answers used to be when you care about that person more than you care about yourself, and you put their needs ahead of yours.

Well, that's all well and good but here's my new theory on that: You can't lose sight of yourself. It's perfectly well and good to put someone else before yourself, but if you lose sight of your own wants and needs you will become unhappy. And, we all know that to love someone you must first love yourself. 

Soooooo.....yeah. That's what I remember about my car epiphany. Not word for word but close enough...

In other news: I felt floaty today for all the right reasons. 

I break things

Okay so I really need to leave for work but I'm hoping writing will relieve some of my tensions.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know, you think asking nicely would work. You think no longer hinting and asking for what you want would work. But no. Some people are completely oblivious and live in their own world. AND IT REALLY PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF!!!!!!!

Ugh. 

In other news I almost cried today. Some people would know why, others wouldn't. I'm doubting myself and it's ripping my heart out...slowly.

Words flow out like rain into a paper cup

So I've figured out that I get my best ideas for writing when I'm driving. Does anyone else see the problem with this?

 I can't write and drive at the same time!

I also don't want to pull over to write because that just seems silly and I'm not so good at pulling over on the side of the road. So let's just hope I never get pulled over by a cop. But back to what I was saying. Every time I'm driving I get an idea for a story, but by the time I get home I've thought about 30 different things and can't remember my story ideas! It's really frustrating!

We were both young when I first saw you

What is love at first sight? 

People say they don't believe in it, but why? Did we ever define "at first sight". Is first sight the first moment you see someone, because if it is, then love at first sight is clearly impossible. You can't be walking down the street, see someone and say 'I'm in love with them' before even saying "Hello". 

Or, is love at first sight the first time we truly see a person for who they really are? When we see a side of someone they show no one else and we're enchanted by it, consumed by it, and rather inevitably, we fall in love with it, is that the true meaning of "love at first sight"?

 I'd like to think so. I'd like to believe in love at first sight. 

Don't Hope. Believe.

If you could SEE the way this poem started, you would gag. Hell, you might gag anyway. But here goes:

Don't Hope. Believe.

You showed me how to stand up for what I believe in

You held my hand when I was weak

When I told myself I couldn't make it,

You told me I was wrong.

When I needed a friend, you stepped in

You helped me learn that I could fly.

You're my star when I am lost,

that push that keeps me going.

I don't hope for love.

I believe.

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale

What's been eating me up inside lately is only getting worse. It's only a matter of time until I crack and spill the beans. Anyone want to take bets on how bad this could possibly go? (Especially in light of recent events)

In addition to the soul chewing, I've been feeling a little deflated today. See previous blog for no explanation whatsoever, and this one probably won't give much of one either. A little too painful. Guess I didn't realize how much this would affect me, though I should have given my first statement in this blog. I just feel....empty. It doesn't bother me unless I stop and think about it, then I want to cry.

At what point is the statute of limitations up on mistakes? Does the clock start ticking when the mistake was made, or does it start ticking when the person it affects the most finds out? Just something I was wondering about when I was driving home in the downpour tonight. 

Made up a really great song on the bus today. From now on, when I see my tennis girls, I shall go "Do dah. Do dah." And monday we want to follow the person it's about around and just go "Do dah do dah". cause they'll have no idea. It's a tennis thing :D 

Speaking of tennis....sucked it up hardcore. Okay, actually the score was not indicative of how the match actually went. But oh well. I hate playing in the rain.

One final note.....do dah, do dah.