You had your faith, but you needed proof.....

I've started trying to write again. It's like putting a sweater that used to fit, but shrunk a bit in the wash. I know with a bit of work, it'll stretch out again and fit like it used to, but for right now it's just awkward.

I started trying to rewrite the story I started for my creative writing class last year. I feel that with some of the stuff that's happened in these past few months, I might be able to write Gina alot better, especially the plot line I had pegged for her. And, I've found the inspiration for Gus. The guy who was always there, just waiting to be found. Sam is still a wee bit of a mystery and I think I'm actually overwriting him right now, but I'll figure him out. Actually writing this reminded me of my new inspiration for Sam, so I have to remember to go rewrite some of this. Maybe this is a better time to write this than before. I've come much closer to living it and can really relate to my main character more than I did before. And now I'm rambling because it's 3:30 in the am and I'm getting sleepy. 

In short: Figuring Gus out, Figuring Sam out, Figuring Gina out, Marlee is giving me a lot of lip, but that's normal. 

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

Well, here we are about a week from Christmas. I still have a lot of shopping to do and with the supposed 17 inches of snow we've received in the last 24 hours, the trip might be a long time coming. 

So this was my front yard yesterday:

Here is my yard today:

Notice the lack of fencing today? 

It's really only gotten worse since I took these pictures. The snow just keeps coming and refuses to stop. I know we're all dreaming of a white Christmas but seriously?

Oh the places you will go

I have to thank my church's new obsession with "What if you found out you were going to die in x amount of time?" for inspiring this blog. They have succeeded in showing me that I truly have done nothing with my life thus far and have so much to catch up on.

The places I wish to go:

1. Canada:
Simply because next year I can buy alcohol up there. And it gives me an excuse to go camping in a sort of foreign country with friends. This trip is open to anyone who wishes to tag along, granted I don't hate your guts.

2. France:
This is purely a trip to go see Anna Marie, my far flung friend who I'm forcing to make my wedding dress one day. I just miss her really bad and want to go to France with someone who can speak French. Cause lord knows I can't!

3. Disneyland or Disney World:
Seriously. I'm a Disney nut. Why haven't I gone yet?!?!

4. Cruise:
Not having to worry about anything for a week. Sounds wonderful. As long as I float along somewhere warm and sunny, I'll be happy.

5. Ireland:
I have standing plans with quite a few people to go bar hopping in Dublin. Another trip that's open to anyone who would love to join us. Anyone know what the drinking age is in Ireland?

Well....there's five trips I'm hoping to take. I've got more up my sleeve but that's all I'll bother you with for now.

Ciao!

Where are all the good men dead? In the heart? Or in the head?

The title poses an interesting question. Of course, as with any question that takes some thought, there's the question that is directly posed to you and the one that is indirectly posed. The one I see indirectly posed is "Why can't we have it all?". Because some men, as the question states, are dead in the head, but good in the heart, while others are good in the head, but rather lacking in the coronary department. You either get one or the other with the vast majority of guys. When you find one that's all there in the head, and all there in the heart, hang on to him. Don't let him go. Because those guys are one in a million and don't come around everyday. But, be wary of those who appear to have both, but are really only posturing until they have gotten what they wanted from you and then drop the entire front. Those men are luckily not as common as we generally perceive them to be, because you have to first be good in the head (and I think we all know most guys aren't all there in the intellectual department).


Another note about those few good men who are both there in the head and in the heart: they're probably not going to be easy to obtain. They will either already have a girlfriend, live too far away for any form of relationship other than friendship to be realistic, or the age difference will creep you out. Within the first two cases: wait it out for awhile. Things will either work out or they won't. With the last one: you either have to become morally flexible or just abandon the cause all together.

Welll.....that's all I have time to ramble on for now. I'll probably edited this late.

peace out

I'm Not Here

I come to you with
bloodied hands and
broken bones.
I'm hurt, I say
But you can't hear me. I'm
screaming
Why can't you hear me?
There is no sound but my
screaming
Why can't you hear me?
You look past me.


You never heard me.


I'm not here.

The Hammer

Today I took a hammer

I pounded my finger 

flat

Turned the music up so

you wouldn't hear my 

     Screaming

The music is off.

Can you hear me?

Underwater Screaming

I'm underwater

Screaming

You can't hear me

it's happening

I closed the door

left the window open

 An entrance

an escape

The tub is empty.

    Can you hear me?

I'm on fire and now I think I'm ready to bust a move...

So, in following of my good buddy Anna Marie I'm going to make a quick life goals list. I doubt mine will be nearly as good as hers because I'm not as focused as she is. But here goes....

1) Travel to Europe and see as many places on the "1000 Places To See Before You Die" list. Especially try and go to France while Anna Marie is still there so I don't look like an idiot. 

2) Find the love of my life. Marry love of my life. Possibly have children with the love of my life. Unlike Anna Marie I'm not entirely sure what I'm looking for. Some good qualities: Great cuddler, great kisser, wonderful sense of humor, romantic

3) Find my passion in life and pursue it. I've been wandering around for too long not knowing what exactly I want. I need to find out.

4) Reconnect with God. Yeah yeah yeah. I know, it's number four. But who ever said these were in order of importance? I just know that I've really let my relationship with God slack these past few years and I need to start doing better about that.

5) Go to Disneyland and Disney World. You can't be a Disney nut like me and NOT go.

6) Get a job, a dog, and a place to call my own. And maybe a cat. 

I'm not sure how I'm going to do any of this. But I'm going to find a way.