Where the hell did this come from?!

Anna Marie just reminded me that next Wednesday is Ash Wednesday. For those of you not familiar with Christian traditions, Ash Wednesday kicks off the season of Lent, aka Give Up Something You Really Love for Forty Days. This is supposed to symbolize or be in remembrance of Jesus' forty days in the desert. For the past two years I've given up pop (or maybe I gave up coffee last year...hmmm) and I've done really well. However...I'm thinking not so much on the pop front this year. So what does one give up? Anna Marie said she's giving up Facebook (I panicked before she reminded me there was still MSN....then I calmed down). But I don't think I could do that. I'd start twitching within an hour if not properly distracted. So....

Possible List of Things Sarah Will and Will Not Give Up:

1. Fast food: While probably a good idea since I'm getting a little soft around the midsection, this probably won't happen. While I don't eat alot of it in the first place, I'd hate to rule it out as an option completely because then I'd actually need it for something. So...no go.

2. Aaron: Not happening. There is no way I'm giving up Aaron time.

3. Myspace: Uhhh...yeah...no.

4. Coffee: This is doable. I don't really drink it and I don't think I'd even notice it was gone.

5. Pop: Eh. Maybe. I'm kind of addicted to Dr. Pepper though.

6. Ice Cream: Why would I give up ice cream?????????

7. TV: Uh..no. Besides, it would be too hard to stay away from.

8. Homework: I would LOVE to give this up. However, my GPA would hate me more than it already does.

9. Text Messaging: I'd DIE. Besides, I rarely ever TALK to people on the phone anymore. 

Hmmm.....well....looks like coffee is getting the boot til Easter. 

Sorry coffee.

Nothing special

So last weeks emo rants got figured out today. The evil hormones had struck again, apparently.

In other news, life is pretty good. Got up way too early this morning (4;45), just got home (went to Aaron's after wrestling). Found out that instead of skipping to the part where you last were in the movie, just letting it play while you snuggle (among other things) is much better. Guess I'll finish it tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, I have to work from 9-2;15, got to church and cook for a few hours, then I'm going to Aaron's again. It's going to be a busy day. Oh. Not to mention homework! Ugh. I hate my life some days.

But......then again, maybe life isn't so bad.....

(first kissing picture. 1/31/09)

If the slipper fits....

When something finally goes right in your life, do you find yourself waiting to hear the catch? Knowing this is far too good to be true, there must be something to it. 

I never expected to get another shot. So when I got it, I took it, and now I'm waiting to get hit by the truck or have a piano dropped on my head. 

Cinderella goes to try on the shoe, only to have it break, right?

Yeah, I'm waiting for the shoe to break. And praying it doesn't.

A walk on the wild side

Do you ever feel completely paranoid about something? And you might not necessarily need to be so paranoid about that thing but you can't help but obsess over it because you care so much?

I feel like I'm reading too much into things lately, but I can't seem to help it. I need affirmation I'm not willing to ask for, because I know that would invalidate it for me. I wish I could just ask and not worry, so I could breathe again. I feel like I haven't been able to breathe for the past week. I'm in a constant state of paranoia. 

I hate being constantly terrified like this. I've never been so afraid to lose something in my entire life. I wish something else had never happened, or that it had dissolved the way other things did, so I could sleep easy at night, confident in what I have. 

I should have jumped last year. I should have taken this chance then, before all of this doubt crept in. And it's not doubt about how I feel. I know how I feel. And maybe it's because I feel so strongly, because I've never felt like this before, that I'm so scared.

I just wish I knew.......