But Dad, it's Shark Week!

Holy Santa Claus shit. I haven't posted for almost a month. I'm sorry to anyone who actually reads this crap and has been craving an update (which I bet is no one).

So college is speeding towards me like a semi-truck. I leave in under two weeks. EEK!!!! On the bright side my roomie, Courtney, seems AWESOME. Seriously, I think we're going to get along great, unless I turn into a babbling idiot when I actually move in. It could happen.

On another note, I had Weekend Wedding Madness last weekend. My friends, Blaine and Christa, got married Friday, followed by Aaron's sister, Sam, getting married on Saturday. Yes, I wore the same outfit to both weddings. I even bothered to get my toes painted. I cried at both weddings because I'm a big baby who loves seeing people in love and all the beautiful things they promise to each other on their wedding days. Of course, due to wedding fever, Aaron and I kept getting asked when WE were getting married at Sam's wedding. After over a dozen not so subtle hints from friends and family, Aaron said he wanted to hold up a sign stating that we were 18 and had no current plans to marry ANYONE. Weddings due put the planning portion of my brain into overdrive and I will admit to indulging myself in a little noncommittal wedding planning that wasn't attached to anyone in anyway. I think if I was better at putting together things in my head, I could be an amazing wedding planner.

It seems so strange to think that in a few years I'll have a real adult job (to go along with my real adult student debt), living all on my own, probably in another city. Hell, in 10 years I'll be married, possibly with children (possibly without). It's strange to think we're at the age where we enjoy naps, can't stay up as late anymore, and food starts to make our tummies feel not so good. Really, I feel like an old lady. Everything on me pops. My knees and back get stiff. I get random aches and pains. I go for sensible over fashionable. What is wrong with me? WHY AM I TURNING INTO AN OLD LADY?!?!!

On an up note, I plan on going camping with Abby to Priest Lake. Which should be awesome. Because we're awesome. And I haven't been camping in some time so it should be hilarious, if nothing else.

Speaking of hilarious, I tried to make crepes the other day. Can you see where this is going already?? The batter turned out great. I followed the recipe to a 'T' and it seemed great. But....the cookie directions were a little vague. So they didn't cook well. I'm proud to say I didn't burn any, but I didn't eat any of them either. I will not be the next Julia Child. I will not be the Next Food Network Star. I will hopefully learn to cook someday, but today is not that day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

*pictures to be added later*

Sorry this isn't longer....

So I've decided that when you haven't seen someone who you really care about for a long time you're like a starving man at a buffet. The starving man eats and eats and eats until he's about to burst, but will not leave the buffet for fear the food will disappear again.

That's how I've felt all day. If Aaron ever leaves that long again and I can't talk to him.....well, let's not go there. Those were the longest, most horrible days of my life. Today made up for it though.

HOME!!!!!!!!!

So Mom just pointed out to me that the only things I get up willingly at 5:30 AM for are wrestling and picking up Aaron. They both involve Aaron. Go figure.

So, breaking it down to the simplest form: Aaron is the only thing I get up that early for.

I'm SOOOOOO excited for him to be coming home. This has been the longest month of my life, hands down, bar none. I've missed him more than I would have missed my left boob. But, it'll all be over in a few hours.

*happy sigh*

Sorry this isn't beautiful or romantic. I can't think straight. I'll save beautiful and romantic for later.

We make plans, not knowing where they'll take us

So I've got quite a bit to do this week, I think. Well. I hope. I need something to do to distract my mind from how slow time will be moving.

So, here's what I need to do:

1. Buy Sam a shower gift and while I'm at it buy a wedding gift too
2. Buy Blaine and Christa a wedding present.
3. Buy a frisbee for me and Aaron to play with. College kids must learn to throw frisbees. It should be a required class.
4. Get a big beach towel. They're on sale!
5. Possibly buy Aaron a little "I miss you so damn much don't you ever leave again!" present.
6. Hang out with people I've been meaning to hang out with. I'm owed two graduation lunches.

Wow...this upcoming week is going to be a big drain on my wallet. Ouch. And I'd been doing so well. I don't think I've used my debit card in a month. I think that's a new record.

Sorry this blog isn't nearly as profound as the last one. But we all know my profound moments come in fits and bursts and I think if I were to have a profound moment tonight it would be heartbreaking and tearful and I'm just not gonna go there, sister!

Theory on "The Glass Slipper Effect"

Welcome to another episode of "Sarah Writes Her Feelings".

I've been reading too much. Romance novels. They kill me, really.

So tonight I've been thinking about perfect relationships (I think they exist, really. just maybe not the way we've been lead to believe), about give and take (checks and balances, so to speak), and about completion.

Exhibit A: Perfect Relationships

Okay, this really should have come last, since it's sort of the umbrella idea behind this whole thing. What makes a perfect relationship? It's really the perfect combination of the other two things listed about: give & take and completion. Without them, you have friction (and not the good kind), you have problems, you have fights. You want to kill each other. Why? Because you're not practicing the principles upon which good relationships are built. We watch too many movies, read too many books, where the characters are total opposites of each other and it works, so we assume that is the magic formula. Besides, weren't we told that opposites attract? But I don't think that's really the case. I think that on the surface, those people shouldn't work. But they do. Why? Possibly because they understand give & take and the art of completion. Maybe not consciously, but subconsciously. They want to give to their significant other everything they have to offer, but are more than willing to partake in the great things their S.O. has to give. They complete each other because one has what the other doesn't and is more than willing to share that. They are in harmony because their similarities and differences weigh out evenly on the scale. *happy sigh*

Exhibit B: Give and Take

In a good relationships, there has to be lots of give, and some take. You should want to give things to your S.O. and be perfectly happy not to get anything in return. However, if you're in a good relationship, you never have to worry about being reimbursed for your actions. The other half will want to do the same thing. Of course, like the whole "opposites attract" way of thinking, this often backfires when not properly understood. If you give and give and give and give and aren't getting anything in return, you're pouring yourself into a blackhole and you'll feel empty inside, unfulfilled. Which is exactly what's happening. If you're not getting anything in return, maybe you shouldn't be trying. Just because you want someone to be a perfect match doesn't mean they will be. The perfect person will somehow know what to give you, and will be more than happy to take what you give them.

Exhibit C: Completion

Ah yes. Completion. It's kind of an elusive bugger, because you're never sure if it's just all in your head, or real. We all want our S.O. to be the one to complete us, to be our perfect fit. Why? Because we've invested time and energy into them and we want our goddamn fairytale already. So what's the deal with completion? Well......I think most of us know this one. It's when another person makes up for our shortcomings. Think about your best friend. They complete you, right? They know your favorite kind of ice cream and the perfect time to bring it to you. They know just what to say when the world gives you the big middle finger. They finish your sentences when you're not quite sure how to put it. And, best of all, they're probably good at things you're not very good at, like maybe math. That's what we should really be striving for with our completion in our S.O.'s. Someone like a best friend. Which, I think, is why people say they married their best friend. Not because that's the person they can tell anything to, or the person they always run to to fix their problems. But because of the other stuff. They never forget your birthday, or that you hate pickles and mustard. They will watch your favorite movie, even if they hate it. They're not your best friend because you have no one else. They're your best friend because they complete you.

Well, that's my rant for tonight. Hope you enjoyed it. Don't worry. Aaron will be home soon to entertain me and these things wont' be so long and rambly. Hell. They probably won't even come at all.

Staring into the abyss

One day down. 29 to go.

This is going to be a long month.

UPDATE:

Graduated. Yay me!

Zach got me a new camera. Score. Need to go to the bank and deposit all my money. Today was the first day there wasn't a card in the mail from someone. Also need to write thank you notes. Oy vey.

I want Aaron home already :(

Some days just aren't worth chewing through the restraints

So this week has just sucked.

Pill drama.

Ex-girlfriend drama

And I just got called a psyho territorial bitch by one of my best friends for asking why she invited my boyfriend somewhere and not me. 

How come the ONE time I try and ask someone something BEFORE jumping to conclusions I get bitched out?!

Ugh...this sucks. This week has sucked. Today was not worth getting out of bed. I need my two favorite men stat, combined with my most favoritest guy to tell me I'm not crazy and dry my tears.

I'm really hurt right now. Why me?

There may be something there that wasn't there before

So I just realized great dialogue and such (so basically story parts) comes to me in quotes.

Today:

"I don't know if what I'm feeling is love or heart burn, but it sucks."

"Your love life sounds like a bad country song."

I've also decided that if I ever got to Disneyland/World, I need to take a sign with me that says "Mecca" and hold it up and get a picture in front of the castles. Cause we all know it calls to me like the mother ship.....

Dream job: being Belle

Back-up dream job: being any face character

Side note: Wedding in Disney? Hmmmm.......too early to plan but a fun idea....must first find future husband, then plan wedding. Should probably finish college too.

Something resembling Monet's water lilies

not so finished/started poems....

we're a two piece puzzle

it's easy to see how we fit together

...and when my Cinderella glow has worn off,

you still say I'm the most beautiful girl you've ever seen.

Well I don't know if I believe that, but

maybe someday I'll buy a nice condo in

that fantasy world you're living in.

If you asked me if I love him.....I'd lie

I almost forgot to post this!

So while driving to school from school today, I was thinking about (now brace yourself for the shocker...) love. 

People ask me all the time what is love and how do you know when you're in love? Well, one of my standard answers used to be when you care about that person more than you care about yourself, and you put their needs ahead of yours.

Well, that's all well and good but here's my new theory on that: You can't lose sight of yourself. It's perfectly well and good to put someone else before yourself, but if you lose sight of your own wants and needs you will become unhappy. And, we all know that to love someone you must first love yourself. 

Soooooo.....yeah. That's what I remember about my car epiphany. Not word for word but close enough...

In other news: I felt floaty today for all the right reasons. 

I break things

Okay so I really need to leave for work but I'm hoping writing will relieve some of my tensions.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know, you think asking nicely would work. You think no longer hinting and asking for what you want would work. But no. Some people are completely oblivious and live in their own world. AND IT REALLY PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF!!!!!!!

Ugh. 

In other news I almost cried today. Some people would know why, others wouldn't. I'm doubting myself and it's ripping my heart out...slowly.

Words flow out like rain into a paper cup

So I've figured out that I get my best ideas for writing when I'm driving. Does anyone else see the problem with this?

 I can't write and drive at the same time!

I also don't want to pull over to write because that just seems silly and I'm not so good at pulling over on the side of the road. So let's just hope I never get pulled over by a cop. But back to what I was saying. Every time I'm driving I get an idea for a story, but by the time I get home I've thought about 30 different things and can't remember my story ideas! It's really frustrating!

We were both young when I first saw you

What is love at first sight? 

People say they don't believe in it, but why? Did we ever define "at first sight". Is first sight the first moment you see someone, because if it is, then love at first sight is clearly impossible. You can't be walking down the street, see someone and say 'I'm in love with them' before even saying "Hello". 

Or, is love at first sight the first time we truly see a person for who they really are? When we see a side of someone they show no one else and we're enchanted by it, consumed by it, and rather inevitably, we fall in love with it, is that the true meaning of "love at first sight"?

 I'd like to think so. I'd like to believe in love at first sight. 

Don't Hope. Believe.

If you could SEE the way this poem started, you would gag. Hell, you might gag anyway. But here goes:

Don't Hope. Believe.

You showed me how to stand up for what I believe in

You held my hand when I was weak

When I told myself I couldn't make it,

You told me I was wrong.

When I needed a friend, you stepped in

You helped me learn that I could fly.

You're my star when I am lost,

that push that keeps me going.

I don't hope for love.

I believe.

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale

What's been eating me up inside lately is only getting worse. It's only a matter of time until I crack and spill the beans. Anyone want to take bets on how bad this could possibly go? (Especially in light of recent events)

In addition to the soul chewing, I've been feeling a little deflated today. See previous blog for no explanation whatsoever, and this one probably won't give much of one either. A little too painful. Guess I didn't realize how much this would affect me, though I should have given my first statement in this blog. I just feel....empty. It doesn't bother me unless I stop and think about it, then I want to cry.

At what point is the statute of limitations up on mistakes? Does the clock start ticking when the mistake was made, or does it start ticking when the person it affects the most finds out? Just something I was wondering about when I was driving home in the downpour tonight. 

Made up a really great song on the bus today. From now on, when I see my tennis girls, I shall go "Do dah. Do dah." And monday we want to follow the person it's about around and just go "Do dah do dah". cause they'll have no idea. It's a tennis thing :D 

Speaking of tennis....sucked it up hardcore. Okay, actually the score was not indicative of how the match actually went. But oh well. I hate playing in the rain.

One final note.....do dah, do dah. 

Watch the glass slipper fall.

GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone is going to get their ass kicked. 

This sucks. Feeling something resembling betrayed here.

This Kind Of Clarity Only Comes Once

To all those who have ever heard a love song and found some part in it that spoke to you, this is for you.

To all those who have ever watched a movie about love, and no matter how dissimilar it was to your own situation, found some part of it to relate to your life, this is for you.

To all of those who know what it feels like to hold hands with someone and feel like your feet aren't even touching the ground, this is for you. 

To all those who know what it feels like to have time suspended when you look into their eyes, this is for you.

To all of those who know in the depths of their souls that they'll never feel this way ever again, this is for you.

Do not be afraid of love.

This kind of clarity only comes once.

Don't let it slip away.

Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance

First off, let's start with a wacky side note: Last night at work I decided I wanted to kill off a character. Why? Because I'm bored with her. So...I'll start plotting her murder rather shortly.

Have you ever been afraid to tell someone something? Probably. It seems to happen to a lot of people. But for the last.....god I don't even know how long, I've had paralysis of the tongue. I don't know why I'm so afraid to say it. I suppose I don't want things to get weird. I'm also afraid of hearing no. Or maybe it's because I don't want it to change anything, because it shouldn't but it has before. I don't know. I suppose I'll figure it out eventually.

So tennis started....I'm very very very very very very out of shape. VERY out of shape. I seriously thought I was going to die during practice yesterday. Stupid conditioning. Speaking of tennis, I'm getting "Mom" on the back of my sweatshirt. Why? It seems to have become my nickname.

Gah. I want a cookie. I want one of the cookies Aaron and I made. Though, next time we need to not leave them in the oven so long. That wasn't so good. We didn't burn them, just made them like little hockey pucks.

Well.................class is almost over. I think I'm going to go hunt down some coffee to wake myself up (giving coffee up for lent lasted all of two days, maybe. whoops?)

We're getting down til the sun's coming up

Wow. It's been a little while since I blogged. Sorry to the person who occasionally reads my blog!!

Hmm...updates?

Aaron is still INCREDIBLE. Holy crap. We've been dating for a month and a half and have yet to have a real fight (we don't call what we do fighting. We were friends first, we'll never give up giving each other crap). It's amazing. And he makes me feel like a princess. My Momma T told me that he needed to treat me like gold or she'd beat him up. I told her he treats me like diamonds. Which is very true. He never makes me feel bad about myself. Ever. He does nothing but make me happy (okay, minus that one time but you get the occasional free pass on screwing up). He makes me want to listen to pop music. Ridiculously happy, bubblegum pop music. I can't listen to sad music right now. I don't feel sad. I don't know why, but with him I'd dance in a storm in my best dress (Anna Marie, you should get that one). Gaaahhh.....I could go on forever on how amazing this feels. The funny thing is, I could go on and on and on and never quite be able to explain exactly how he makes me feel.

Is it weird that the stuff that always bugged me about other guys doesn't bug me with him? Is it cause I know him well enough to know when he'll stop so I don't feel like I need to curb his behavior or babysit him? I still mother him, but in a completely different way than what I usually do. It really isn't even mothering. I just want to take care of him, to make sure he never wants for anything. I want him safe, happy and healthy. And instead of thinking I have to make him into a responsible adult so everyone will like him and think he's good enough for me, I just let him be him because I know he's good enough for me (if that makes any sense....). 

I think it's really helped that we know each other so well. Takes a lot of the guess work out of things. I can relax and be my goofy self with him. Hell, I was jumping in puddles because I had my rain boots on in front of him. Yup, I was THAT big of a dork. 

So...in other news: I want to graduate and be done already. Seriously awful senioritis. 

Tennis just started. I figured out today that Jenna and I are the only girls' singles players. So that means I'm second seed. FUCK. I'm NOT that good. I was looking forward to a nice, relaxing season of playing like....4th seed singles, where I could beat up on all the freshman. I'm not good enough to play SECOND seed. I'm going to get SLAUGHTERED. It's going to be EMBARRASSING. MORTIFYING. AAHHHH!!!!! Now I actually have to work hard and learn to hit the ball. Blah. I'll be fine...maybe. Good thing I've got Aaron to talk me out of breaking my foot. 

Work is blah.

I'm thinking about finishing my story from last year. Now that I have a new idea on how it all works out. And my original inspiration for Gus is more clear, which really helps the story. Maybe I'll start outlining again, do some character exercises.....

You know what I just thought of. I'd make an AMAZING creative writing teacher. I would have SO much fun coming up with projects for my classes. That would be fun....Actually, being a professional writer would be cool. Too bad I don't have the attention span or follow through for that. Oh well. 

Well....I'm getting REALLY sleepy. So....WAIT. I almost forgot! Coffee didn't last long for lent. I'm not sure what else I could give up on that list that I haven't already had. So...I guess no lent this year?

Where the hell did this come from?!

Anna Marie just reminded me that next Wednesday is Ash Wednesday. For those of you not familiar with Christian traditions, Ash Wednesday kicks off the season of Lent, aka Give Up Something You Really Love for Forty Days. This is supposed to symbolize or be in remembrance of Jesus' forty days in the desert. For the past two years I've given up pop (or maybe I gave up coffee last year...hmmm) and I've done really well. However...I'm thinking not so much on the pop front this year. So what does one give up? Anna Marie said she's giving up Facebook (I panicked before she reminded me there was still MSN....then I calmed down). But I don't think I could do that. I'd start twitching within an hour if not properly distracted. So....

Possible List of Things Sarah Will and Will Not Give Up:

1. Fast food: While probably a good idea since I'm getting a little soft around the midsection, this probably won't happen. While I don't eat alot of it in the first place, I'd hate to rule it out as an option completely because then I'd actually need it for something. So...no go.

2. Aaron: Not happening. There is no way I'm giving up Aaron time.

3. Myspace: Uhhh...yeah...no.

4. Coffee: This is doable. I don't really drink it and I don't think I'd even notice it was gone.

5. Pop: Eh. Maybe. I'm kind of addicted to Dr. Pepper though.

6. Ice Cream: Why would I give up ice cream?????????

7. TV: Uh..no. Besides, it would be too hard to stay away from.

8. Homework: I would LOVE to give this up. However, my GPA would hate me more than it already does.

9. Text Messaging: I'd DIE. Besides, I rarely ever TALK to people on the phone anymore. 

Hmmm.....well....looks like coffee is getting the boot til Easter. 

Sorry coffee.

Nothing special

So last weeks emo rants got figured out today. The evil hormones had struck again, apparently.

In other news, life is pretty good. Got up way too early this morning (4;45), just got home (went to Aaron's after wrestling). Found out that instead of skipping to the part where you last were in the movie, just letting it play while you snuggle (among other things) is much better. Guess I'll finish it tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, I have to work from 9-2;15, got to church and cook for a few hours, then I'm going to Aaron's again. It's going to be a busy day. Oh. Not to mention homework! Ugh. I hate my life some days.

But......then again, maybe life isn't so bad.....

(first kissing picture. 1/31/09)

If the slipper fits....

When something finally goes right in your life, do you find yourself waiting to hear the catch? Knowing this is far too good to be true, there must be something to it. 

I never expected to get another shot. So when I got it, I took it, and now I'm waiting to get hit by the truck or have a piano dropped on my head. 

Cinderella goes to try on the shoe, only to have it break, right?

Yeah, I'm waiting for the shoe to break. And praying it doesn't.

A walk on the wild side

Do you ever feel completely paranoid about something? And you might not necessarily need to be so paranoid about that thing but you can't help but obsess over it because you care so much?

I feel like I'm reading too much into things lately, but I can't seem to help it. I need affirmation I'm not willing to ask for, because I know that would invalidate it for me. I wish I could just ask and not worry, so I could breathe again. I feel like I haven't been able to breathe for the past week. I'm in a constant state of paranoia. 

I hate being constantly terrified like this. I've never been so afraid to lose something in my entire life. I wish something else had never happened, or that it had dissolved the way other things did, so I could sleep easy at night, confident in what I have. 

I should have jumped last year. I should have taken this chance then, before all of this doubt crept in. And it's not doubt about how I feel. I know how I feel. And maybe it's because I feel so strongly, because I've never felt like this before, that I'm so scared.

I just wish I knew.......

Frogs v. Prince

They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. Well...I've kissed a lot of frogs. And some of them momentarily turned into princes...but they eventually returned to their amphibious roots. However, I'm proud to announce after much searching (and smooch testing), yours truly may have found a prince. Well, not may have. He is a prince. And guess what. My name means princess.

You can't blame gravity....

I find myself procrastinating a lot. I can't focus. I don't want to concentrate on anything. I'm content to let my thoughts bounce around in my head willy-nilly. These bouncing thoughts generally drift around to someone, what I'd like to say to them, what I'd like to do with them, to them. I even occasionally doodle his name. I find myself obsessing and agonizing over everything he says and does, even though I know he's doing the same thing with me. While I'm often painfully aware of everything I say and do around him, I can still find myself at ease by just being in his presence. He makes me laugh and smile like no one else can. I can think of times where I've looked at him and started laughing because I knew what he was thinking and he knew what I was thinking. He can magically make my problems go away with just a few words and he's always been there for me. 

I think it's safe to say I might be in love.

Why air guitars and ice skates don't mix...

My tailbone hurts.

Actually, my entire butt hurts. I blame ice skating and loving the air guitar too much. 

So, Sunday I show up to church and apparently we're supposed to go ice skating at 1:30. This is a bit of a problem because Aaron and I had tentative plans to hang out and it would probably take an hour to get to Fairfield and back and chances are Pastor Dave won't get done til 12:30. Well, after much begging and cajoling, I asked Aaron if he wanted to go ice skating with my youth group and he said sure. His dad was nice enough to drop him off at my house and then we headed back to my church, getting there at 1:25 (cause we're that good).

The skating rink was COLD. Kyra had warned me about this but I didn't realize just how cold it was going to be. Brrrrrr...................But on to other things. 

So after being a wee bit shaky and afraid to move for a few minutes, skating comes right back to me. It's really just like being on roller skates anyway. So an hour or so goes by and I've gotten rather cocky. While goofing around to a song and playing air guitar, I leaned a little too far back on a wicked solo and BAM! Down I went, right on my tailbone. I sat there, partially shocked I'd fallen, mostly in pain, and trying to decide whether to laugh or cry. I got up (with some help from Aaron cause he'd offered), and didn't goof around on my skates again for the rest of the afternoon. 

Now it's the next day. My tailbone still hurts if I bend at certain angles forwards or sideways or whatever. My left wrist hurts when I flex it in any direction (not a sharp pain, but sore for sure). 

So we'll chalk this up to a lesson learned: Do not, I repeat DO NOT, rock out on air guitar too hard while ice skating or your ass will hate you forever.

Life was so much easier back when boys had cooties...

You know it's true. Life was way easier back when boys had cooties.

Before we wanted them to hold our hands, hug us, or kiss us, we were happy. We didn't care that boys crossed rooms to talk to our friends, and not us.  We were happy they weren't talking to us! We didn't care if the cutest guy in the class said hi to us. We didn't care if we got asked to the dance. We were happy to just have our girlfriends and to not have any boys bothering us.

Oh how things change.

The switch flips for everyone at different times. The switch that takes us from "I don't care" to "I'll die without him". Mine flipped kind of early (somewhere between 2nd and 4th grade). And it went hard for quite a few years. Until recently. My switch hit that magically "I don't really care either way" section. In fact, I think I'm happier out of a relationship right now. Well...as long as I still have a guy to cuddle with and tell me I'm pretty on occasion. And I see some of my friends so desperately wanting boyfriends and I wonder, "Why. They're a pain in the ass. Nothing but trouble, really." And then I figured out why I probably don't care if I have a boyfriend: there's usually a guy there for me. As much as I get down on myself, tell myself I'm not that pretty or likable, there's usually a guy there, waiting in the wings incase I happen to want him. Which was a mildly shocking revelation, let me tell you. But it perfectly explains why I'm none too impatient to get a boyfriend. They've always been there, and they don't seem to be going away anytime soon. 

So here's a little "advice": Just be yourself. You'd be amazed what that will do for you. When you stop worrying about trying to impress boys all the time, they tend to like you more. Just like when you can tell a guy is trying to hard for you, they can tell when you're trying to hard for them. So just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. None of us are getting out of this alive.

Once again the clock struck twelve....

Well 2008 ended over an hour ago....Welcome 2009! I suppose now is a beautiful time for reflection upon this past year.....

Well...I started off last year with a boyfriend, who I dumped in late March. Yay me. I then proceeded to be single until the end of July (real shocker, actually). That lasted until mid-November when I got dumped because he just didn't love me as much anymore. Talk about a real slap in the face. Well I made it through that and here we are a month and a half later and I'm still standing. I'm so grateful for all of the wonderful and absolutely amazing friends I have. They are the best a girl could ask for, and more. 

Tonight Aaron and I decided we're walking together at graduation. Apparently we get to choose. So if you have any suggestions about epic things we could do during the recessional, we'd be appreciative. And the way things are looking on my end, Aaron will be my prom date too. Unless one of us has something going by the time April rolls around....

College application deadlines are drawing close and I'm just not quite done. I don't want to write essays. They kind of make me want to shoot myself. Oh well. I'm so broke who knows how I'm going to be able to pay for any of it.

So next year, I'm kissing a guy at midnight. A cute guy. I'll find a way to make this happen. I really will. I'm with Anna Marie on this one: I need a reason to shave my legs in the winter. I need a guy who is worth the extra ten to fifteen minutes in the shower.

If I play my cards right, 2009 will easily top 2008. Here's hoping we get all we wish for and more.